The One With Austrailia, Baby!
by Cally
Summary: The gang go to Oz, finally! For all C n M fans...and...everybody! Please, please review! and Happy New Year!


TOW Australia, Baby! aka TOW The Cruise!   
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE- I suggest you read my other fic "The One On The Night Before Oz"...as this is its continuation....and  
they're finally going to Austrailia!! :) I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! (She says BEFORE writing  
the damn thing...lol) Ooh, by the way...I've like...never ever ever ever been to Austrailia unfortuneately (I live in England...kinda  
far away hehe)...and I know a couple of readers are from there, so...if I get stuff wrong, please don't shout at me...but, tell me if  
I make a huge mistake!! And please, after reading my fic...review it! I *love* getting reviews!! Don't be scared to leave your  
email address too, I'd love to thank people who review. I suppose you're bored now...why doncha read the story, eh? :)   
  
(Scene begins in M/C's apartment. They're the only ones there. Monica is asleep and has her head in Chandler's lap.  
Chandler's stroking her hair. Suddenly, Phoebe and Joey burst in)   
P/J: AUSTRAILIAAA BABYYY!!!   
(In fright, Chandler leaps up and Monica slams onto the floor. Chandler grins at her sheepishly, trying not to laugh and helps her  
up)   
(Title music...then...Joey's place. Joey, Phoebe and Chandler are there.)   
J: I can't wait! I can't wait! I can't wait! he begins leaping up and down I can't wait! I can't wait! I...   
CH: thwapping him on the head For the love of God, wait!   
P: grinning at J, then copying him by jumping I can't wait! I can't wait! I...   
CH: All you guys ever do is try to irritate me. Well it won't work. he looks away...'not-listening'   
J/P: We can't wait! We can't wait! We can't wait!   
CH: Did I say won't work? Oh no...I must have meant SHUT THE HELL UP!   
J: Hehe...sorry. he grins at Pheebs   
P: Yeah....once someone starts, ya can't stop!   
J: Sooo...looking forward to "Our" Honeymoon? he grins first at Pheebs then Chandler   
CH: Please stop calling it *that*. Its actually Mon and I's honeymoon...which is like, what...five months late, but...oh well.   
J: Where is Monica, anyways?   
CH: Packing.   
J/P: shocked She hasn't packed yet?!   
CH: gives them The Look No, Synchronised-twins, she hasn't. She wanted to get some new....I don't know. I stop listening  
when I hear her say "mall".   
P: Hey, wow cool! I stop listening to you when you insult me!! He gives her The Look again, she blinks and then  
Um...anyways..sincere It was really nice of you to invite us all along!   
CH: Aw, thanks Pheebs. Well...it wouldn't be the same without you guys. Two whole weeks without ya....pondering  
Hmmm...   
(Scene shifts to Ross's place. Rachel and Ross walk in, with lots of shopping bags)   
RO: I thought you said you only had to get a couple of things!   
RA: Well...couple could mean a lot, I guess. So....about Emily...? she glares at him angrily   
RO: Ooh, I thought this would come up...   
RA: Well, it kinda had to. She's your ex-bitc..wife, I hate her...etcetera, etcetera...   
RO: Look, Rach. I had nothing to do with her...ya know, romantically.   
RA: nonchalantly Why would I care if ya did? Why the heck is she in America?   
RO: She's in the US because her husband's cousin is getting married here. She kinda invited me to the wedding...   
RA: What did you say? Please tell me you aren't going with her!   
RO: Um...no...but...   
RA: annoyed But...what?   
RO: Ooh boy...I...she...well, the wedding is in a month.....she and her husband and re kinda...visiting the US before hand....   
RA: Yeah..so?   
RO: quickly IkindainvitedhertoAustrailia...   
RA: WHAT?!   
(Break- then, Mon's room. CnM are the only ones there. Monica is packing.)   
CH: Can't believe it!! The flight is in a couple of hours which means yay!   
M: eyeing him suspiciously You've been hanging around with Phoebe and Joey, right?   
CH: Yeah. In fact, he laughs those two are really beginning to get to me. All they ever do any more is try to annoy me...and  
succeed!   
M: snapping Well, as long as I don't annoy you, I don't give a Hell about it!   
CH: blink Um...you ok, Mon?   
M: Huh? Oh...yeah. I'm fine. Just pissed...y..   
CH: You talkin' angry or the British form of pissed 'cos you really aren't supposed to drink in your condition. he snickers   
M: Chandler! Now is *not* the time for that kind of joke.   
CH: confused Oh.....ok.   
M: Ok. she turns away and continues packing   
CH: I just don't wanna see you upset...I want our honeymoon to be perfect.   
M: she blinks and puts down the clothes she was packing and turns to him Chandler...I'm sorry. I'm just annoyed at Ross  
right now.   
CH: Why?   
M: He ran into Emily.   
CH: Ick...   
M: Yeah...he ran into Emily and he invited her and her snooty husband to Austrailia! Her husband's rich as Hell, so of course  
he'll pay for both of their tickets.   
CH: What?! Oh my God! That's so unfair! No! sarcastically Great.   
M: she flops down on the bed Why does everything go wrong for me? Everything!! Everything...   
CH: Blame my parents. he flashes a grin at her   
M: laughing No, stoopid, not you. Ross is such a dinkus! He didn't even bother to ask me...or tell me! I heard it from  
Rachel!   
CH: Well...we'll ignore them. Its easy enough...I ignored that little freak when she was around anyway. imitating Emily Ooh,  
Ross..lets not talk to yoooour friends. They're stupid. he grins   
M: You're a dope.   
CH: sorta agreeing Hmm.   
M: But I love ya! she pulls him into a kiss   
(Scene shifts to the airport. Obviously, everybody is there. Including Emily and her husband, Nick.)   
CH: whispering to Mon I have something to show you on the plane. A present.   
M: Oh....awww...I didn't get you anything...oh, I feel bad now.   
CH: Hehe....don't, doesn't matter. As long as I'm with you, I don't need no gifts.   
M: Awwwww.....that is so sweet....   
E: cutting in Ugh....and to think *that* all evolved from our "wedding",sneering Ross.   
M: very obviously insulted and annoyed What did you say?! quietly to Chandler and who told *her* about that night?   
CH: Honey, honey, honey...let it go..ehe....he tugs her away then whispering who told *anybody* about that night??   
E: calling to MonListen to him, he talks sense. When is the bloody plane going to get going?! (Note- I've been known to  
over-use 'bloody' in everyday life...its a British thing, hehe...)   
RO: whispering to the others Woah...that was uncalled for.   
ALL: Duh!   
RO: Stereo. rubbing his ear Yowch.   
P: Its your fault! They're gonna ruin Chandler and Monica's honeymoon...and its your fault! Your fault!   
RO: Well, I didn't realise!   
RA: Don't you remember what a cow she was?!   
RO: ...I do now...   
J: I still kinda like her.   
CH: walking up What?!   
J: Oh, no, I mean I still like Mon...that *is* who we're talking about, right?   
ALL: No!   
J: Oh....looks at Chandler and grins You're gonna kill me now, aren't ya?   
CH: nodding, but smirking too Yup.   
J: Hey...um...realisation..! Emily, Nick and Monica aren't here. Shouldn't we be on a plane right now?   
(They all look at each other)   
ALL: Hey, wait up!/Guys!/Hey! etc...   
(Scene- On the plane. Sitting as normal...CnM, RnR, JnP. Emily and Nick are behind them, kissing ...etc)   
P: Get a room....   
J: nodding Yeah.   
RA: I still can't believe you invited her.   
RO: I know. I feel terrible.   
RA: Don't feel that bad...that Nick guy is a hottie and half!   
RO: They're married!   
RA: Yes, but we *hate* Emily! grinning and I'm probably never ever gonna see them again after this....   
RO: thinking she's kidding Hehe...yeah.   
CH: So...your present..   
M: coyly Oh! I...forgot all about it! Chandler smirks at her I lie!! What is it, what is it?   
CH: Just...warning you, its nothin'...amazing or anything. I just thought it was cute, and he coughs, embarressed well...here.  
he hands her a bag. He blushes and changes subject by turning around to talk to Ross, behind him So, Ross...what do you  
think about the flight..etc..we don't hear him, we see Monica...get what I mean?   
M: she opens the bag and lifts the gift from it. Its a little pink and blue teddybear. On the tag, is written "Hey. Seens as we  
haven't been told what sex our twins are yet, I got this one. Hope you like it. Love you loads, ~Chandler." Aw....that's so  
sweet...   
CH: keeps talking to Ross Ahem....um..yeah! Yeah, I agree...and...he looks at Monica ehe..   
M: whispering, so Ross or the others won't hear. To recap: they have no idea about any of this yetYou really didn't have  
to...but...awwwww...   
CH: Heh...I wanted to.   
M: Hehe...she huddles up to him   
CH: kissing her forehead and putting his arm around her You've changed me...ya know that?   
M: Sorry...hehe..   
CH: Nah. Being sarcastic *all* the time is hard. he smiles at her (Note- I know. I've tried it..;))   
(Break, again. Scene begins showing scenes of Oz...similar to the London episode, I guess.)   
P: One two three..   
J/P: AUSTRAILIA, BAAAABY!!!   
CH: Ok, who bet that they'd do that?   
ALL: Me! raise hands   
J: Its like a tradition....we have a trip, we have to say that! For instance....Emily and Nick, you wouldn't know...for instance,  
there has been the following. Ms Buffay, demonstrate. London.   
P: London, baby! muttering even though I didn't go.   
J: Atlantic City...which, we never actually went on....never the less, Ms Buffay?   
P: Atlantic City, baby!   
J: Yeah...see? Oh, wait...what about Vegas? Did we do one for Vegas?   
P: Can't remember...   
CH: And me and Monica will now go do another trip tradition...   
RO: Someone tell him to shut up or gag him, I don't want to know....   
(Scene shifts to the hotel. Outside. Its getting dark)   
RO: Joe, why'd ya call us out here?   
J: I have a surprise for you all! Especially the happy couple over there. he points to CnM   
CH: Joey's gonna say something clever! I know he is! It'll be a big surprise, really!!! he blinks Nothin'. I've lost it. I've lost  
my humour. I've l..   
E: Ugh....Joey, please continue!! (For the record, Nick IS around...lol...he's quiet...very quiet. He will talk later, however.)   
J: Ok. Well, I'm making more money now...so...you know they do those cool cruises in the ocean?   
CH: dryly Well, the cruises on the land would have been cool too, but they couldn't get the ship to move. Mon smirks at  
him   
J: Ahem...so, anyways...I got us all tickets! Cruise! Its cool! And...its like...now, 'cos the night is like...romantic and stuff...eheh.  
  
E: Slush. Just wonderful. Does this cruise permit us to throw up over the side of the ship?   
M: Ok, that's it...   
CH: pulling her back Honey..ignore her. She's not worth it.   
E: I beg your pardon! Nick, say something...he just insulted me.   
N: blinking. He's nice...we like him. Hehe Oh..um...I see.   
CH: laughing Threatening.   
(Scene shifts to the cruise ship. They're inside...having a meal.)   
RO: This is so cool. Thanks, Joey!   
RA: Yeah, I agree...she's sitting near Nick Totally....   
N: nervous Ah...so, Rachel, is it?   
RA: Yes. Rachel Green. *Miss* Rachel Green, hehe...sorry.   
N: blinking Yes....I'm Nick. Mr.Nick....   
RA: drunkenlyYeah yeah yeah, I know. You're married! Don't have to explain to Rachel! she cringes   
N: Alright...   
M: quietly Honey, can I talk to you for a sec?   
CH: Yeah, sure. 'Scuse us, guys.   
(They leave)   
E: sarcastically They're in their whole little world, aren't they Nick?   
N: Yes, dear...oh! That reminds me...I have to give them something. I'm sorry. Please, excuse me.   
(He exits too)   
J: I'm paying for this meal! Everybody's leaving!   
RO: Emily, can I just ask?   
E: What is it now?   
RO: What do you have against them?   
RA: grinning, to Pheebs This could get good. Do we have popcorn? she hiccups   
P: No, but we have corn on the cob...I'll go order..she gets up   
RA: pulling her down No, its ok....rolls her eyes   
E: Against them? No, I'm just offended. I'm a guest here, and they've not acknowledged my existance! (Please note: Emily fans,  
I'm sorry. Helen Baxendale irritates me. I blame her for "Cold Feet" the...'English Friends'. Makes me wanna kill her even  
more!!! Copy cat...!!)   
RO: This *is* their honeymoon...can't expect them to stay with you all the time!   
P: Yeah...but, saying that...they have been acting a little strange lately...and I don't mean their 'usual' strange....for quite some  
time now...   
J: Yeah, I've noticed that too.   
RA: I'm sure its nothing....   
J/P: Yeah../I think so etc..   
(Scene shifts to the deck, its moonlight and all purty and romantic...*snicker*)   
CH: So...whats up?   
M: Well...   
CH: I know...Emily's bothering me too. I'm sorry.   
M: laughing Hehe...not what I was going to say. I totally agree though.   
CH: Ross is a dinkus.   
M: Of course. He's my brother. Anyways...   
CH: Yes?   
M: Well...nothing...was bothering me...I..   
CH: Yeah? looking at her   
M: I..just wanted some time alone with you....   
CH: smiling Oh.......yeah...hehe...I needed to be alone with you too.   
(Suddenly, Nick runs up)   
N: Excuse me?   
M: sigh Yes?   
N: Sorry to interrupt...but...I couldn't help noticing that you left this he hands Mon the gift bag with the teddy bear in on the  
plane.   
M: Oh! Thank you very much! It...means a lot to me...she gives Chandler a secret smile. He puts his arm around her.   
N: I understand. I also couldn't help but...read the tag. Congratulations, you two!   
CH: Oh...um..thanks! Ehe....   
M: Yeah...thank you...um...   
N: Oh...I'm sorry....I know I shouldn't have read it.   
M: Oh, no its ok...   
CH: Yeah....but do us a favour...?   
N: Yes?   
CH: Please don't tell any of our friends about this...kinda wanted to keep it a secret.   
M: Or Emily...   
N: Of course not. I haven't, and I won't. You have my word. Well, I'd better get going. I'll see you back at dinner.   
M/CH: Bye!   
CH: That was nice of him.   
M: Yeah. He seems ok...considering who he's married to.   
CH: I know! What a bitch!   
M: Hey...want me to throw her over the side of the ship and blame it on my mood swings?   
CH: grinning I love you.   
M: I love you too. They begin kissing   
(Scene shifts back to the dinner)   
E: Nick! There you are. Beginning to worry about you.   
N: Sorry about that. he sits down   
RO: whispering to Rach She changes whenever he comes back.   
RA: I think she's jealous that Chandler loves Monica and Nick doesn't love her.   
RO: No....that can't be it.   
E: glaring at them, then whispering to Nick I know they're talking about me. The little weasles. If it weren't for that Rachel  
one, I would have been married to Ros..stops, and laughs nervously   
N: Yes...if I were you I would have shut my trap then as well, Emily....he sighs and looks away   
RA: looking at Nick Well, I'm going to go and see what Monica and Chandler are up to. I want to talk with them....she  
motions for Nick to follow her   
N: Ah...ok. Emily, I'm just going to the bathroom. Why don't you and Ross catch up on times, eh?   
E: Oh, of course.   
RO: clenched teeth Thank you, Nick.   
(Scene shifts to a corridor, Rachel is behind a bar thing and Nick walks past. She pulls him behind the bar thingy...God I hope  
people understand what I mean! ;))   
RA: Well, hello there.   
N: Yes...Rachel, please, this is not a good idea.   
RA: To Hell with Emily.....she's not the right one for you. I don't even know if I am...but...let tonight be for tonight!   
N: Rachel...I hardly know you! Besides, you've had a lot to drink.   
RA: Ever heard of 'spur of the moment' flings? Come on!   
N: Rachel. No! I'm sorry. I love Emily. I know she's been a bit angry tonight. I don't know why exactly...b..but the point is I  
am married to her and I can not and will not have an affair!   
RA: Wow. You're a really nice guy. I pity you.   
N: Yes....thank you....   
RA: Got to ask....why did you follow me up here? Why didn't you say no back there?   
N: Good question. If only I had a good answer...   
RA: Oh.......whats the use. I'll admit it....I'm jealous. Jealous, yes, jealous.   
N: Yes...I gathered...ahem   
RA: Jealous of what Emily and you have....jealous of what Chandler and Monica have now. I used to be...right there...now, I'm  
so far out of...there...that there is....well, I'm no good at metaphors.   
N: I see....look, like I said...I hardly know you...but, I do think you are a very attractive woman, with a good heart. That's what  
I think when I see you. And....when other men see you, I think they probably think the same.   
RA: You are a *very* nice guy.   
N: Thanks....now come on...Emily will be playing guessing games about the two of us.   
RA: Either that or playing with Ross. They exchange glances I'm very drunk, I'm allowed to come out with crap.   
(Scene shifts back to Chandler and Monica. They're looking out into the sea. The stars are all bright and...stuff. Its romantic,  
anyhow.)   
CH: Isn't this great?   
M: sighing happily Yeah....perfect. Like you promised it would be!   
CH: Daw...   
M: No. Better than perfect....so much better.   
CH: I know what you mean. he notices she's holding the bear Hey...so...you like the present? I told you it wasn't much,  
but...   
M: I love it, Chandler. she smiles And, it means a lot to me.   
CH: he pokes her gently in the stomach Ya know....I kinda thought of something.   
M: Yeah?   
CH: Hadn't we better be telling the others soon...?   
M: I thought that too...   
CH: Yeah, I mean you're four months along now...and with twins...and I'm not being mean or anything, but I reckon that the  
others may find out on their own pretty soon...   
M: Yeah...hehe she looks down at herself...hey, well...what about now?   
CH: Now??   
M: Yeah....I mean, its romantic...its quiet up here...I think it'd be right.   
CH: Yeah....smiles So do I. Lets go get them...   
(Scene shifts to the dinner thingy. Rachel's asleep. Nick and Emily are together, smiling. Ross, Joey and Pheebs are talking.  
Chandler and Monica enter.)   
CH: Guys?   
ALL(Rachel sleepily...hehe): Yeah?   
CH: Could you follow us...we got something to tell you.   
ALL...except N: unaware Oh, yeah...sure.   
(Scene shifts back to romantic deck thingamajiggy)   
CH: Ok....well....now that you're all here....here's the thing. Remember a while back now......quietly when Monica had the  
miscarriage?   
ALL: sympathetically Yeah?   
CH: Well...I made a little promise to her....I said we could try again.   
ALL: Wow/Cool!/etc..   
RA: Congratulations!   
P: Yeah! Good luck!   
J: dirtily You dawg.   
CH: Um...well...no, actually. he pulls Monica towards him and puts his arms around her, holding her tightly We did try  
again.....and...Monica's pregnant...um...again.   
ALL: stand there speechless...for a while   
RO: Oh my God!   
P: Wow....   
RA: You guys!   
(They go and hug them)   
M: Woah, woah woah...wait a sec...hehe. they break the hug   
CH: Yeah, that's...not it.   
RO: Its *not*?!   
M: proudly Nope. You see.......remember the other day...I was kinda depressed and all....   
RA: Oh yeah...I noticed that.....oooh, don't let this be bad news...   
M: Well.......I went for a scan and the doctor noticed something unusual....   
P: Oh no...   
RO: I hate this type of thing...   
J: Yeah....will I need tissues?   
E: mumbling Pathetic.   
M: Anyway, the whole day, I was depressed...waiting for his call....and...he did.   
ALL: Yeees?   
M: I'm kinda....kinda...gonna have...twins.   
RA: You're kiddin' me!   
M: Nope. Twins...uh huh, two. Note- Similar to the previous fic, eh? :)   
RO: Awwwwww...Mon, that's great news!   
J: And to think I just thought you were just gettin' fat!   
M: slightly offended Huh...   
RA: Ignore him!   
P: Yeah, we couldn't tell at all!   
(They all hug Monica, and Chandler stands by, smiling. He leans over the bar and watches them, the wind gently blowing his  
hair. Ooooh....nice...hehhehheh)   
M: getting out of the hug, and walking towards Chandler Guys, include him too!   
CH: Aw...its ok. I just want you to be happy!   
J: poking Chandler Who are you and what have you done with Chandler Bing?   
CH: laughing Hey...she's changed me. he smiles at Monica and hugs her   
  
*End of Part One*   



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